Monday, January 09, 2006

Begin:

As the title 'Preparations begin for the Journey into Dog-Year' suggests, back at our secret Cuzinz hang-out (aka: Mmhse) much top-secret activity is going on that involves preparations beginning for the journey into dog-year (yes I know I essentially just repeated myself). Of course, because of our template our blog-entry titles aren't displayed so you, the reader, probably didn't know what the title was and, therefore, what the title was suggesting and/or the top-secret beginning of preparations for dog-year!!

In simpler terms, Chinese New Year's coming. CNY is ultra-special because it happens around the end of Jan or beginning of Feb, which is when the year really starts. You see, the new year doesn't really start at Jan 1st because we all spend the 1st month or so of the year wishing it was still the last month of last year (with holidays) so by the time we all settle down into the groove of a new year and get everything started, it's the end of Jan (or beginning of Feb)! The ancient Chinese, of course, knew all this, and tabulated all these quirks of human nature into their calendar-rical calculations. Hence the genius celebration 'Chinese New Year'.

*ahem* Back to the entry.

Why is the upcoming year (the year of the Dog) so important that us lazy cuzinz must begin our frenzy of preparations? Well, this is no ordinary year! Each cuzin shall be facing wondrous and amazingly perilous...er...perils in the Doggy-Dog-eat-Dog (woof woof, doggies are cuuute, whosa cutey dooogy? OooOoo) Year of the Dog.

Let's start with the youngest and work our way up, shall we?

Cuzin Audrex, the youngest of our brave Cousinship, is a Dog. Nono, she's really a Dog, I'm not just randomly insulting her. This year is HER year, the Year of the Dog. It is also the year in which she shall have to face and duel the dreaded monster whose name begins with a P and ends with a SLE. It is the year in which she faces her first intiation battle (aka: Major Exam) of many to come, which all young Singaporeans must likewise battle to fight a place for themselves in Society. All fans of the young Audrex will be pained to hear of her many preparatory measures which she has submitted herself to in order to come out victorious in this battle. She has *gasp* to limit her time spent Kadding at Neopets to a measly 1.5 hours a day!! And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth....

Cuzin Titi...well, to tell the truth, amongst all the Cuzins his adventures of the upcoming year seem to be the least epic and awe-inspiring. For him it shall be an ordinary year filled with ordinary trials and tribulations (aka exams, homework, bad-hair-days, bad-clothes-days, tennis elbows). By the end of the year he shall be faced with a most grueling and heart-wrenching choice...what combi???!!! But that's another matter that shall be saved for our Cuzinz' End-year Post (just in case nothing else of interest happens to us throughout the whole year).

Cuzin Lea, with a mighty flourish of pen and brains, and managed to get herself early induction into a prestigious school! *applause* In fact, it is also Cuzin Ming's school, so the 2 of them shall be able to enjoy many joint adventures exploring the wilds of Gelare to hunt down 1/2-priced waffles in the coming year. Brave huntresses in search of cheap syrupy waffles (mmmmmmm). So you can see why this year is also a particularly thrilling and adventuresome year for this adventurous Cuzin.

Besides having waffles to look forward to, she has also a whole new school!!! Everyone say 'Woa!'. This includes a whole class full of new friends to make, a staffroom full of interesting teachers to poke fun at, a canteen full of previously un-sampled food (eh Lea, try the 2nd last Malay foodstall, very good), a campus full of waiting-to-be explored places and, of course, wonderful seniors everywhere! As this record of our adventures is being written, the young Cuzin has probably just about finished her Orientation and shall soon be launched headfirst into the delights of the upcoming year! Many preparations have been undertaken to prepare her for her new journey. We have outfitted her armour (aka uniform, which is as stiff as armour anyway) with the spiffy new high-tech 'drawstring' equipment and her hair has got itself a new cut, so watch out New-School, Cuzin Lea approacheth!

Cuzin Nicky shall this year be facing an initiation battle akin to that of Cuzin Audrex's, but far greater in it's difficulty and future repercussions. It is a battle whose name is widely feared by those of our nation and whose preperation time, that of 2 small years, is the measliest of all. It is a battle whose name begins with an A and ends with a -levels. Shall bold, brave Cuzin Nicky be able to fight and conquer? Shall his new arsenal of mighty weaponry, such as the 'cool handphone pose' and 'gravity-defying hair' be able to sufficiently abate the coming heavy stresses of this battle to help him retain light-hearted joviality throughout?

Ah-HAH! Oh battle foes beware! For this year Cuzin Nicky has a new secret weapon (which won't remain secret for much longer, seeing as it's being posted on the web), which is an alliance with a amazing superhero 'Supermaths-Tuitionman', formerly known as psychorapistsingaporeancist but now promoted to superhero status. Ally Supermaths-Tuition has a super-secret summons which Cuzin Nicky uses to summon him, and that is the handphone of

Cuzin Ming, who likewise faces the battle begining with A and ending with -Levels this year. The year has started on a rather, well, detrimental note for Cuzin Ming. Having to battle with the horrid R-demon upon her return to school, she now finds herself beset with many more duels to skillfully sparr, with many worthy opponents to duel. Opponents such as Sir Finishreadingkinglearandhamletbyfridaythat'sin3daysandIdon'thavethebooks and Knight Prelimsarein5weeksandwehavenoscript. Of course, we must also not forget the ultimate opponent of all opponents....Lord HeyMingwhydon'tyougoonlinewatchcartoonsreadabookgoandblogbutdon'tdoyourhomework! Ah yes, that last opponent is indeed the hardest of all to deal with...

In an effort to rid her mind of these horrid opponents, today Cuzin Ming took a well-earned, though technically not allowed, break from school to join in the end of Orientation fun. This included a dangerous, adventourous trek on bikes with 2 trusty bike-panions on a 2-hour ride to Changi Airport, with Cuzin Ming battling many vicious muddle puddles, aka muddles, on the way. Her secret-ultra-effective method of vanqushing muddles are to ride through them at high-velocity, thus scattering the dreaded muddle into splotches everywhere (her battle-scars included the many mud-spots found on the back of her shirt later). It ended rather un-heroicly with first a horribly painful crash into a gate-post and then an ignominous pushing of the bicycle over an over-head bridge, in the rain, against a wave of Orientated humanity who were cursing, swearing, refusing obstinately to 'keep to the left', in order to return the rented bikes to the shop. Our efforts were even mistaken by some (looks meaningfully at Cuzin Lea) to be those of idiots wanting to cycle in the rain. Wet, squishy, with runny hairgel in her eyes and floppy hair on her head, Cuzin Ming was melted by the rain. Quote Wicked Witch of the West 'Heeeelllppp! I'm MEEeeeEEEeeelting!!'.

Cuzin Sheng, hopefully, has had a dryer ending to his day. Cuzin Sheng, too, has to face that dreaded A-monster in the coming year but to combat this he has his super-magic ability to turn to. The amazing power of watching m-18 movies legally as of this day. Of course, he shall have to watch them alone for now, but that's just a minor technicality. The Cousinship wishes Cuzin Sheng a joyful reading of his birthday book (which we sincerely hope is in English) and may many enjoyments be reaped by him this year. The year thus far has been uneventful for him, and this resourceful, genius-minded Cuzin will no doubt find a way to render the dangers of the following year into docile milk-hating rabbits so that peace may reign in his world.

Joint Cuzin adventures have not been experienced yet this year, except the mini-adventure (by Cuzins Titi, Ming and Sheng) of the family dinner with the famous personae (so famous a certain muscle spray was named after him) along with most of his famous family (who thus far have no household objects named after them except 2 softtoy doggies in chi paos, beware of such doggies, apparently the breed 'giordano' gives birth to litters of 6 pairs at a time). It consisted of many adult-initiated forages into the wildernesses of buffet but yielded only the results of weird-tasting ice-kachang and no funny cupcake-thing *sigh*. The onus of 'making conversation' was almost placed upon us, but thanks to strategic adult placement, we were freed of that by having the ever cool and shuai (though not as cool and shuai as Cuzin Nicky) A.Jie be a far more interesting conversant. Our bounty were atapchees (which come from the atap plant).

And that's all the doings of the mighty band of Cuzins thus far. May further adventures of the Cousinship be recorded and read.

Oh, right, almost forgot to write a bit about Elder-Cuzin A.Jie. But M.M. basically sums it all up for us whenever she says 'Wah Ah Jie!'.


Scribe: Cuzin Ming *woa*